Going Solo: Grace Gen 4.17

There were lights on so that was a good sign. I hurried to the door, the fact of being out at night was weighing on me more and more by the minute. I rang the bell and nervously glanced around waiting. I rang again. Oh God what if he's not home? Just as the thought hit me, I saw him approaching through the glass.

Jonas: Grace?

Just like the day he came over after I got the news about Grams, I fell into his arms in tears. He didn't ask me any questions, he just held me and let me cry until I couldn't cry any more. After I'd collected myself, he led me inside to his living room.

Grace: I'm sorry...I just didn't know where else to go.

I just started talking telling him everything about Hope and how I felt so left out. I was so embarrassed that I just rambled all that off, I'm sure I sounded like a brat complaining about why me, but Jonas just listened and never once told me I was wrong for feeling the way I did.

Grace: I lost my temper. I never lose my temper. I didn't even know I had a temper.

Jonas: It's the stress. You and your sister are close, her becoming a vampire is a big deal, and you feel cheated because she didn't tell you. That on top of losing your grandmother, it's understandable if you got a little upset.

Grace: It wasn't a little.

I was starting to feel terrible about all the things I said. It wasn't Hope's fault she found love and didn't want to lose it. Our own parents did the same thing, but it was different with her. She was my twin.

Grace: You can answer that.

He phone kept ringing, and he kept ignoring the calls.

Jonas: Hello? Yes, she's here. Cliff Road.

My family had tracked me down, I knew it based on his answers.

Grace: Are they all coming?

Jonas: Not sure, but I should probably get dressed.

It was then that I noticed he only wore a towel. He let me just talk and talk about my issues never once interrupting and he didn't have on clothes. HE DIDN'T HAVE ON CLOTHES!

Grace: I...I should go. I need to go!

Jonas: Grace...just sit. I'm going to go to my room. Your family is on the way. Please don't leave while I'm gone.

I slowly moved away from him and he didn't attempt to stop me. He turned and walked down the hall away from me. I wanted to run, but my family was coming here. And it was darker now out there. I was trapped. I balled myself up in the chair and hoped my family would be here to get me soon. Jonas came back in a few minutes later, fully dressed.

Jonas: Would you like something to drink?

I just shook my head no. He took a seat on the sofa across from me and we sat in silence until his doorbell rang. Jonas walked in with Hope and my mom following behind him.

Continue Reading: "Going Solo: Grace Gen 4.17"

Going Solo: Grace Gen 4.16

Davis: Hope...this is...wow.

Hope: Yeah, I know, but it's great isn't it?

Dad pulled her into a hug and Mom went over to join. They were all so happy to see her like that. Like them. She told them the story about how she came to that decision, that Caleb was willing to become human for her, but that it made more sense for her to become a vampire.

Hope: It's just like you and Dad. He's the one and now I'll never have to leave his side.

Dad looked over at Caleb and I waited for him to get angry or pull one of his typical 'dad' moves, but he didn't. He hugged him instead.

Davis: One of the scariest things I've worried about was having to lose my girls one day. It's nice to have that worry off the table, especially at a time like this.

He stopped talking and all eyes went to me.

Grace: I...I think I need some air.

Cora: Grace...

I turned and walked out the backdoor. Mom and Dad still had the small garden I'd started. They didn't work on it as often so it was a bit over grown. I started yanking at the weeds. How could she do that? How could she not tell me? They were all so happy.

Cora: Grace, honey.

Grace: I'm gonna go Mom. I'll be back tomorrow.

I just wanted away. I never fit in anywhere, but I was okay with that I always had my family, but now I didn't even fit in there.

Cora: Your sister just got here, you haven't even spoken to her.

Grace: I'll be back tomorrow.

Hope came walking out of the house as I got in my truck. She looked at me. I cranked up my old heap and pulled away. They all tried to call me, but I didn't answer. I didn't even answer when Jonas called. I sent him a text and told him it wasn't a good time. I just didn't want to talk to anyone.

Continue Reading: "Going Solo: Grace Gen 4.16"

Going Solo: Grace Gen 4.15

After my return the feelings I had of being watched were worse than ever. I hated going into town now but worse than that being at home also kept me on edge. I tried to go about my normal routine as much as possible, telling myself it was all in my head. I was a nobody, unimportant, I knew there was no way someone was really watching me. I tried talking to Hope, but she was busy. First the honeymoon then relocating across country to settle into married life.

We spoke briefly, but she did most of the talking. I thought about talking to Mom, but if Dad learned about how I felt, I'm sure he'd find someway to blame it on Jonas or have me move back in with them. He'd been going on and on about how we were growing up too fast and he needed to find a way to stop that. Jonas was the only one that knew since I'd panicked that day and called him. We now talked everyday, a few times a day. Hearing his voice always made me feel better. It had been a month since the wedding. Hope had mailed Grams pictures and a copy of the video since she couldn't attend. She and Caleb were planning on coming out to visit, but she had to wait with her new job since she'd used up all of her accrued vacation time.

I've learned over the years that moments in life can change things, sometimes for the good, or in my case most times for the bad. This was one of those moments. My grandmother had died. Mom called me with the news, the retirement place where Grams lived called him. She hadn't come down for breakfast and when they went up to check on her, she was gone. Died peacefully in her sleep. I told Mom I'd be over, but I couldn't think straight. My grandmother was gone. My phone rang again just as I headed towards the shower. As soon as I heard his voice on the other end I broke down into tears but somehow I managed to rely the fact that I'd just lost another person I loved.

He was at my door thirty minutes later, I didn't expect him to come, but I was grateful he was there. As soon as I saw him, I just fell into his arms and cried. Jonas held me, rubbing my back, and just letting me soak through his shirt with my tears.

Grace: I...we...didn't even get to say goodbye. To tell her how much I loved her.

Jonas: She knew. You talked about her all the time, she knew how much you loved her.

Of course he was right, but it didn't help that I didn't get to tell her one last time. When Grandma Sha passed, we had time to prepare and say our goodbyes. I felt cheated that she left us with no warning. I didn't like losing people I loved.

Grace: Thank you for coming. You didn't have to.

Jonas: I want to be here for you Grace. Let me know how I can help.

Grace: I need to go to my parents'.

Jonas: I'll drive you.

Continue Reading: "Going Solo: Grace Gen 4.15"

Going Solo: Grace Gen 4.14

The wedding was beautiful. Hope looked amazing, I'd never seen her so happy. Caleb and his entire family were extremely nice and Hope seemed to fit right in. She was planning on getting a job transfer to Aurora Skies and settling down there with his family. She said it was an easy call since she didn't live near us anyway. My sister was married. I never thought I'd see the day that would happen yet she was, and overjoyed about it.

Being around her and Caleb was like being around Mom and Dad and Grandma Kerri and Sha, when she was still alive. You could just feel the connection they had. It was great for her and them but I'd never felt lonelier while surrounded by so many people. As much as I enjoyed seeing Hope and being there for her big day, I was happy to be home. I'd missed Vor and my quiet piece of the world and I'd also missed Jonas. I realized how much when I saw him to get Vor. His friendly smile was a great welcome home.

Jonas: How was your trip?

Grace: It was good. Hope was a stunning bride and she looked very happy. Thank you again for keeping him. I felt better knowing he wasn't locked in a kennel all day. How was he?

Jonas: You're welcome and he was no problem. In fact I liked having someone to talk to at night, he has very interesting views on the world.

I started to respond when I realized he was joking about Vor talking back.
Grace: Guess it's a good thing he's used to living in a small space, but having the park across the street help to give him a place to run around.

Jonas: You think I live at the store?

Grace: Yeah, I mean you are always here so I just thought maybe this place had an apartment above it or something.

Jonas: Should I be flattered or concerned that you've wondered about where I live.

Grace: What? No...

Jonas started laughing and cut off what would have been a rambling explanation.

Jonas: I stay out on Cliff Road.

I knew that road, there was only one house that sat out there. A large modern looking place that over looked the bay.

Grace: That's a big house.

Jonas: Yeah, that's why having company was nice. My family has filtered through here and several other cities over the years. All of the houses we own are large just in case there are a few of us that live in an area at the same time. Family is great and all but sometimes we like to retreat to our separate areas. Or like now separate city.

Continue Reading: "Going Solo: Grace Gen 4.14"

Going Solo: Grace Gen 4.13

Hope was still doing well in the competition, so well in fact she was one of two girls left. Barnacle Bay was a small town so it was no surprise her being on the show made the newspaper. Being only one of two, she was able to call and talk to us finally. She sounded happy and was really enjoying her time there. Dad wasn't keen on that, he still thought Caleb spent too much time shirtless. Erin disagreed. I was excited for Hope, during her 'confessional' time she talked like she really liked this guy, she even mentioned the possibility of relocating to be with him if she won. That was crazy, but then again she was like Dad. It took the right woman for him maybe it only took the right man for her. Odd that my sister may have found him on a show like that.

After doing my daily chores, I prepared to head to Mom and Dad's place. On the way over I stopped to pick up Grandma. She'd been sick the last few weeks, but was finally feeling better. She had been watching from her place and we'd talk about it after it aired.

I'd watched the show with my family for the last 6 weeks. Six weeks...that was all it took for Caleb to be talking about possibly being in love with one of them and for my sister to be considering moving her whole life around to be with him. That seems like such a short period of time and she didn't get that much one on one time to really get to know him. At least not on air.

Dad was relieved when Erin finally told them that 'relations' weren't allowed until The One was picked. However that relief was short lived when he learned that it was 'on air' not that we saw anything, but we would see them going into the room, we'd hear audio of them making out then it would fade out and come back with them in bed after the fact. Dad was pissed and said for Hope and that boy's sake Hope had better lose. Both Grandma and Mom got onto Dad for becoming such a prude. They managed to get him quieted down for the show.

They had one last group date and the fairy Rebecca, who was the front runner started acting funny. She ended up leaving the group and Hope and Caleb spent the rest of the night together. It was strange, but watching the two of them felt right. They had this connection, similar to what Mom and Dad had. Perfect compliments to each other. I briefly wondered if I'd ever have something like that.

Caleb declared Hope 'The One'. A strange silence fell over my parents when the final shot played out. Final confessionals were played after he sent Rebecca home and we heard from Hope talking about how happy she was to have found her other half and Caleb talking about his soul mate. Dad made snide comments and Mom quickly reminded him that it wasn't nonsense unless he was downplaying their own relationship. That shut him up quick. That was until my phone rang.

Davis: Married? Did she just say Hope was getting married?
Dad piped up when he heard the one side of my conversation.

Mom tried to shush him as Hope relayed the details to me. She sounded so happy, it was all very surreal to think in six weeks my sister went from single and dating to engaged. The moment I hung up Dad was asking me a million questions. Erin was excited about taking the trip and ran off to call all her friends, Carter grumbled something about wearing a tux and not cutting his hair.

Davis: Grace...what the hell is your sister talking about?

Grace: Well...apparently after the final show Caleb proposed and she said yes. So yeah...

Davis: No! She can't. I forbid it!

Kerri: Davis you can't forbid her from doing anything.

Davis: Like hell! That...boy....how...no

Cora: Davis, this is her life and what she wants. Besides, he seemed genuine in his feelings about her.

Davis: Whatever...he also seemed genuine in his feelings for the 20 other women he was making out with!

Kerri: Davis Matthew Gruber!

Everyone got quiet with Grandma Kerri pulled out the full name on Dad.

Kerri: You were a lot...wilder...than Hope has ever been. You will go and give your daughter away and do so with a smile on your face.

We all tried to hide the laughs as we watched Dad get in trouble by his mom.

Continue Reading: "Going Solo: Grace Gen 4.13"

Going Solo: Grace Gen 4.12

Much to Dad's dismay, Hope was still on the show. There had been some catty moments that got Mom ticked off, especially when one of the girls slapped Hope. I'd never heard Mom get so pissed before. She started cussing, which was a shock, she never seemed to lose her temper, but she was ready to hop on the next plane to Monte Vista. It was a rare thing to hear Dad tell her to calm down, but he had too.

She went on and on about physical violence should get people disqualified, but Erin explained that they always had fights on that show at one point or another. It made for good TV, people liked the cattiness. Mom was not pleased. Jonas and I were back to talking, but something still felt different. I'd not seen him since his birthday.

Each week I drove to Mom and Dad's house, I had to pass his store and I worried that he'd see me. The day I saw him walking into the building as I drove by I found myself actually considering stopping to talk to him, but to say what. I didn't think he really wanted to talk to me anyway, so I kept driving. After the show went off I decided to finally talk to Mom about it. The whole time I was talking, she kept this weird smile on her face.

Cora: Well it sounds like a very romantic date he arranged.

Grace: It wasn't a date.

Cora: Hot air balloon rides, picnic in the park, yeah sweetie that was a date.

I frowned at her. I think watching Hope on that show was confusing her, but I found it best not to argue the point.

Grace: Regardless of our...outing...I freaked out and ran home because it was getting dark. I won't even go home when I come here for dinner because being outside at night, even for just a little while scares me still.

Cora: Well, hunny, my advice would be to stop avoiding him. If he hasn't brought it back up when you've talked, then just let it go...or you could tell him.

I frowned.

Grace: Tell him what?

She gave me that 'mom' look and I shook my head in response.She talked to me a little while about possibly giving therapy a try again. I wasn't really keen on that idea, but I told her I'd think about it.

Continue Reading: "Going Solo: Grace Gen 4.12"

Going Solo: Grace Gen 4.11

When I got home I broke down into tears. Jonas had been texting and calling me since I left but I wouldn't respond. I freaked out and ran away because I'm scared of the dark. I'm a grown woman scared of the dark. I pulled out my phone to call Hope, but remembered I couldn't. Last time we spoke she told me she'd been picked to go on some reality TV show called The One.

I thought she was crazy when she told me what it was about. She was one of ten ladies who were all trying to win the affection of the sole male on the show. What was she thinking? Those 'reality' shows are anything but. I was sure the whole thing was staged and the winner was predetermined by the producers but she assured me it wasn't. Even so, she said it would be fun and didn't see the harm since her dating life hadn't been going so well and she had tons of vacation time stockpiled.

Dad was not happy about the news, saying he didn't need or want to see his daughter making out or 'worse' on live TV. Mom was also a bit skeptical, but was supportive, Carter could care less, and Erin thought it was cool. She apparently watched that show and said the bachelors they picked were always so dreamy. Either way until the final show was taped she was not allowed access to the outside world. The producers didn't want the contestants giving away anything. My phone range again. It was Jonas again.

Grace: Vor I can't talk to him. He probably thinks I'm even stranger now than before.

Vor curled up beside me on the couch, putting his head in my lap. I scratched him behind the ears as I contemplated my options. My phone buzzed again, this time a text message.

Grace please respond to me. I'm sorry if I did something to scare you.

Grace: He's sorry? I probably ruined his birthday and he was sorry.

I said to Vor who responded by rolling onto his back for a belly rub. After giving in to Vor's request for loving, I pulled out my phone. I scrolled through the series of messages Jonas had sent. They all had the same tone, he somehow thought he'd done something. I was scared to talk to him, so opted to send a reply instead.

  

I'm fine. Sorry for running off. 

Will you answer if I call you? 

I looked at the message. If he called, he'd want to know why I left and I couldn't tell him I was scared to be out after dark without telling him why. No. Talking was out of the question. 

No 

 His reply was not instant. Minutes ticked by slowly.

Ok. Goodnight.

The next day Vor and I stayed home.

 

I worked in my garden outside since not all of my plants had gone dormant yet, then attempted to learn the art of canning some of my harvest. I managed to make come cherry jam that didn't taste too bad. Jonas sent me texts in the morning and afternoon and I responded, but noticed they were shorter than our normal ones.

Continue Reading: "Going Solo: Grace Gen 4.11"

Going Solo: Grace Gen 4.10

The weather was turning cooler, the leaves were starting to change. I used to love Fall for those very reasons, but not really anymore. I forced myself to ignore the negative thoughts and work on harvesting my crops before they went dormant. I missed Hope, I'd forgotten how much I liked having my sister around.

To make up for the loneliness I spent more time at Mom and Dad's. Erin was grateful to have me around. Dad was being even more like Dad now that she was a teenager. She would call me to complain when he wouldn't let her go out saying it was unfair that he didn't treat Carter that way. Carter was made to go with her as a chaperone yet he was allowed one on one dates without one. She reminded me so much of Hope when she talked like that. I told her sadly he'd done the same thing to her, only I was the chaperone. I wished I could have given her better options but Carter was 17 and a senior in high school, she was only 14 and the guy she liked was 16, no way was Dad gonna let that happen. I knew it was bad when she said Mom couldn't even change his mind on the dating thing.

I'd not seen Jonas since the lunch with Hope. We still talked, he'd even asked when I was coming into town, but I never gave a definite answer. I'd finished my work and was getting ready to bathe Vor when my phone rang.

Grace: Hello Jonas.

Jonas: Hey Grace. I didn't catch you at a bad time did I?

Grace: No, not really.

Jonas: Great. Um...are you free right now?

Grace: Free for what?

Jonas: Can you meet me at the campgrounds in about 30 minutes?

Grace: You want to go camping? In the middle of the day?

His laugh rang out in my ears. He had a nice laugh.

Jonas: Not exactly, but can you?

Grace: Yeah, sure.

I hung up with plans to meet him, but that meant putting off Vor's bath. It took a while to get him in the tub and then dried off. I was a little nervous as I drove towards the campgrounds. I don't know why I agreed to meet him there. Hope had told me I needed to trust more and that she genuinely thought Jonas was a good guy. And she got on to me about living such a solitary life. My home in the middle of no-where, as she called it, and no friends outside of a dog was not a fulfilling life in her opinion.

When I arrived Jonas greeted me wearing a large smile.
Jonas: Thanks for coming.

Grace: Um... problem, but why here?

His smile got bigger.

Jonas: Well, you seemed really interested in knowing what it was like to fly, so...

He pointed to the hot air balloon that was in the corner of the park. I started shaking my head, no way was he getting me alone, in that thing. No. Hope said to trust but that was pushing it.

Grace: I can't.

He frowned at me.
Jonas: It's perfectly safe, I promise and we won't go high if you are uncomfortable.

Continue Reading: "Going Solo: Grace Gen 4.10"

Going Solo: Grace Gen 4.9

A few days after my afternoon with Jonas I got a call that was another moment in life I was unprepared for. Mom called to tell me Grammy Sha had a stroke while they were working in their yard. Grams had called 911, Mom was on duty when they arrived. I needed to contact Hope then get to the hospital, Dad was already on the way. The hospital, like the library, was a place I'd not wanted to ever visit again. The idea of going back there had me temporarily frozen in fear. I couldn't not go, my family needed me. After making the call to Hope I hopped in my truck and made the drive into town.



Seeing the look on Dad's face, it took me back to the day they found me. The heartache was so clear. Grams was crying, Mom was trying to console her. The doctors weren't hopeful that Grammy Sha would make it. When Jonas called me that evening, I was comforted, surprisingly, by the sound of his voice. He offered to come to the hospital which I thought was very nice of him, but I told him it wasn't necessary.

I'd never lost anyone I loved before. My family was always there for me, I don't know why I never considered life without them. I got my first dose of reality that night when Grammy Sha passed in her sleep. Death is a fact of life, I knew that, but that didn't make losing her any easier for any of us. Grams was very distraught so Dad and Mom took her home with them while I headed home to check on Vor who I'm sure was very confused as to why I had been gone all night. I was comforted to receive his excited greeting when I walked in. Hope texted me that she had arrived at the airport and was taking a taxi to my house, from there we would go to Grams and stay with her a few days.

Soon as I saw Grams she pulled me and Hope into hugs. Grams has always been so lively, and upbeat, seeing her like this was heartbreaking. She just looked so sad and lost, with good reason.

Her eyes were red from crying. I felt bad for her, she and Grammy Sha had been together for many years. Dad had tried to convince her to move in with him and Mom. He didn't want her in the big house all alone especially since she was older. He was making the arrangements for the funeral.

When Grams walked into the house, she started crying again. Hope took her upstairs while I prepared lunch. Grams was all alone now. Not really alone, she had all of us, but it was different. If she didn't want to live with Mom and Dad maybe she'd move in with me. I had an extra room. I'd have to remember to ask her after the services.

The funeral was small, mostly family and a few of their friends they'd made over at the senior rec center. Jonas had sent a floral arrangement and Grams took that opportunity to grill Hope and I about giving her great grandkids. We both humored her since it took her mind off the grief. I doubted Hope ever wanted to settle down, she was like Dad, but then again he did so anything was possible. Me on the other hand...they like a lot of things weren't in my future. Not unless I decided to adopt at some point, but who would really give a child to a single woman that basically lived as a recluse. Nope, no kids for me.

Continue Reading: "Going Solo: Grace Gen 4.9"